Jul 10
Dealing With Blows To Your Motivation
Personally, (in RL), I’m the only person who does what I do. That’s to say, in the circle of my family and friends I’m the only one who walks the way of the entrepreneur. As I’m sure many of you out there know, it can be a very lonely road. No one besides our colleagues and our significant others really can understand the sacrifices we make, the hours we put in, and the passion we put into our work. And please don’t think I’m just talking about blogging.
More often than not, the first clients or customers to our new businesses/endeavors are our friends. Even if we don’t necessarily ask them for their support, I think we inherently expect it. That thinking, like so many other expectations, can be very dangerous. Especially when our friends choose to ignore our efforts for whatever reason and not lend their support. If you haven’t guessed, this has happened to me recently. And to clarify, it’s not in a computer or web related medium.
Without getting into what the situation was specifically, I’m wondering how you guys deal with things like this when they happen? I’m an extremely optimistic person by nature, but this is the second time something like this has happened to me and when it happens, it has a tendency of hitting me like a ton of bricks. For one, in the spirit of getting my business off the ground, if my friends don’t think enough of me to go to me first to help them, how can I expect anyone else to trust me? And two, if my friends choose to use the services of someone else, maybe the signs are being painted on the wall and I’m just being too stubborn to listen. Maybe it’s time to hang it up and get of that business all together. My way of coping has always been to tell myself that it was my fault that my friend (or anyone else) didn’t choose me…I must not have presented myself in the best and most competent light to them so I need to come up with a new gameplan.
In the end though, maybe the reason why it’s so damaging is because of how much of ourselves we put into it. And so when it’s rejected, it’s like we were actually rejected. And that notion too kinda plays into how I think my friend perceives me now. Does he not take what I do seriously? Does he think I’m incompetent? Does he just disrespect me? I dunno. Just thinking out loud. What do you guys think? Has this type of thing ever happened to you? How do you deal with it? And how do you deal with your friend (if you even bring it up)?
July 10th, 2007 at 9:50 am
When I officially launched my business, my first clients were strangers I did that purposely. You’ll have some family/friends that won’t do business with you for a variety of reasons; They may be uncomfortable doing business with someone they have a close relationship, they may be loyal to the service they are currently using, Jealousy, etc., The reasons why are seemingly endless don’t let it get you down.
Instead of focusing so, much on family & friends (yeah I know many will tell you to do that but I always have a backup plan) focus on forming contacts with new people yes it’s hard but you’re opening up new channels that could potentially send you more clients if they like your service.
I got a sense of satisfaction when I had my real customers family and friends, to me, were “familyâ€. I was one proud business momma when I received my first glowing reviews from total strangers. It meant more to me than the praise of those who knew me.
I received my first big break on an online forum I’m an expert in my line of business (natural skin & health care) and consistently gave sound free advice on what works for a variety of ailments. One of my first clients came from the forum. I had no idea who Wendy was, but I did shortly after she received my products. The lady was very popular and many trusted her. She created a post about my company. There are over 100k members there I received a huge wave from her.
It took a while to build up my credibility to reach that point, but I did. I gave out free advice, and more importantly the advice I gave worked. A few people had created posts about me before, and people were beginning to notice I imagine that is why Wendy decided to purchase from me she had read one of those post.
When I started I had a few drops but those drops have grown into something fabulous.
You’ll encounter many trials as an entrepreneur. The roadblocks inspire me to do better and think of ways I can overcome those obstacles.
As a business owner you’ll encounter some people that don’t get it when you talk about the hours you put into your own business or how you really cannot take off of work completely even if you’re on vacation. I easily work 70 hours per week as an entrepreneur; however, I eventually know I’ll get to the point where I won’t have to put so many hours into it since my investments (hard work) will eventually pay off. That goes back to my comment on your Paid Post update about looking at the long term benefits of monetizing your websites wisely as opposed to the short-term benefits writing an excessive amount of paid reviews.
Turning my website into a business isn’t my full-time job, but I can see the benefits of the money that can be made if I approach it correctly.
If you cannot find entrepreneur’s to connect with locally (try Meetup.com) try to connect with others online it’s always nice to have others that know what you are going through it helps you keep your sanity.
If you haven’t you should buy the book E Myth Mastery by Michal Gerber and The Millionaire Next Door by Thomas J. Staley (it’s not a business book but it’s still excellent read.)
July 10th, 2007 at 10:38 am
Wow Opal! You could’ve taken that comment and made it a post on YOUR site! Ha ha!
But thanks for the sound advice, I’m sure it will lots of people. And great thoughts regarding giving free advice at first to try and get your name out there to new people. I think for me, I’m going to continue working hard to forming new contacts and hopefully when I’m a little more established, “others” may look at me differently. (#):)
July 10th, 2007 at 12:40 pm
Don’t worry about it buddy. I know you’re good. The others will come around.
July 10th, 2007 at 3:38 pm
Now if that isn’t a boost to the ol’ confidence, I don’t know what is! Thanks Brown!
July 10th, 2007 at 6:31 pm
In real life I have friends and I have business contacts, and business contacts might turn into friends, but never the other way around. My main reason for the separation is that experience has taught me working for friends will have one of two results
1) things will go horribly wrong and it will be hard to sort out the problems without feelings getting involved
2) your friends will have a different set of expectations, often wanting you to not only bend over backwards but to give them a deep discount for the pleasure of your friendship
Consider it a good thing that your friends are so wise and dear that they value you as a friend and not as cheap labor. Start advertising and stick to selling services to strangers
July 10th, 2007 at 6:39 pm
Welcome Wendy! I don’t think I’ve seen you ’round these parts before so thanks for stopping by! You bring up some good points here, namely the dangers of working with friends and family. But that could be a whole post onto itself couldn’t it?